Nesting

Last month a robin built a nest in the tree outside our window.

We got to watch the whole process.  Since motherhood has been on my mind a lot lately, this was especially fascinating to me.  This experience has influenced the way I view my job as a mother.

For a few days, the robin flew back and forth with materials for the nest. Then she spent a couple weeks sitting on the eggs.  When the eggs were ready to hatch, the mother perched on the side of the nest and peered down inside, cocking her head from side to side.

Feeding the chicks was a full-time job for both parents.  The mother sat on the nest for the first week to protect the tiny, featherless chicks from the chilly air.  The father would fly up next to her with a worm in his beak.  The mother reached up and took the worm, then hopped up next to him to feed her babies.  The father would watch for a while, then leave to find more worms.

As the chicks grew, we could see their wobbly heads and open beaks reaching up for food.  Both parents flew back and forth all day to find food for the growing chicks.  Each day, they were a little bigger and steadier. 

I took this last picture on the day before the chicks left the nest.  They didn't fit in the nest anymore, and were ready to fly and find their own food.  I was really hoping to see the moment the chicks left, but when I woke up the next morning, the nest was empty. 

The whole process took about a month.  It was over so quickly.

One night shortly after the eggs were laid, there was a big windstorm with pouring rain.  I thought of the nest and felt anxious for the eggs.  I got a flashlight, wondering if the mother would stay on the nest or find shelter for herself during the storm.  There she was, braving the rain and wind to protect her eggs.

Like the mother bird, I spend most of my time and energy taking care of my little ones.  They need constant attention and protection, and are always hungry.  Many of the things I enjoy have to be set aside while I'm raising my children.  By the end of the day, I am usually pretty tired.  Then before I know it, another day has begun and I get up and do it all again.  Sometimes it seems like I'll be doing this forever, but I'm told it will go by quickly and they'll be grown up before I know it, and that I will miss it terribly. 

As I watched the mother robin sit calmly on her nest or fly back and forth with worms, I thought about how accepting she was of her duty towards her chicks.  I find that I enjoy motherhood so much more when I am not "fidgeting" around on the nest, feeling restless and thinking of things I would rather do.  The enjoyment comes when I forget myself and find fulfillment in the work. 

When I walk past the window and see the empty nest, I feel a little sad, thinking of the time when the noise and the crumbs and the sticky hugs and early morning snuggles will be replaced by a stillness and emptiness.  And I realize that I don't really want it to end.